Explore the intricacies of setting and respecting boundaries in today's digital age. Dive into the significance of personal boundaries, the challenges faced, and practical steps to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships
Read MoreFrom sharing a Netflix account to splitting the bills - moving in together is a big step. In this blog, we dive into what it means to cohabitate, why couples choose to do it, and how to know when you're ready. Join us as we explore the joys, challenges, and intricacies of sharing your living space with a partner.
Read MoreHey there, beautiful souls! Have you ever caught yourself pondering how dating has changed over time? I know I have! It's fascinating how technology has revolutionized how we meet, chat, and form connections. Today, I'm excited to have a heart-to-heart about the ups and downs of finding love in this digital world. So, snuggle up with your favorite drink, and let's start this conversation!
The Bright Side of Digital Dating:
Boundless possibilities: Remember when finding someone special depended on friends, family, or pure chance? Well, those days are history! Dating apps and websites have expanded our romantic horizons, connecting us with like-minded people from all corners of the globe.
Tailor-made connections: With so many potential partners at our fingertips, we can easily filter through profiles based on specific criteria like age, location, or hobbies. This helps us find someone who truly resonates with us without getting stuck in incompatible matches.
No more awkward first meetings: We all know how nerve-wracking it can be to meet someone new in person, especially if you're introverted or have social anxiety. Online dating takes the edge off, allowing us to get to know someone from the safety and comfort of our own space before deciding to meet them in person. It's a breath of fresh air for those who prefer a more relaxed approach to dating.
But, as much as we adore the perks of digital dating, it's not always a walk in the park. Let's have a heart-to-heart about some challenges we may encounter:
The Challenges of Tech-Fueled Romance:
Beauty is only skin deep: With so many potential matches, it's easy to focus on superficial aspects of online dating. We might judge someone solely based on their profile picture without knowing them. Remember, genuine connections go beyond appearances, so looking deeper is essential.
The paradox of choice: Having countless options can be exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. This abundance of choice can lead to indecision or an endless quest for the "perfect" partner, making it difficult for us to commit and appreciate the connections we've already made.
Lost in digital translation: While technology simplifies communication, it can lead to misunderstandings. Online interactions often lack the subtleties of body language, tone, and facial expressions that we rely on during face-to-face conversations. We must know this and communicate effectively when connecting with potential partners online.
So, my lovely friends, that's the scoop on dating in this digital era! The landscape of love has truly evolved, and technology has given us new and exciting ways to find and connect with potential partners. As we navigate this modern love adventure, let's remember to keep an open mind, embrace the benefits, and stay mindful of the challenges that come with it. After all, the search for true love is a journey, and each step brings us closer to that special someone.
I'm genuinely curious about your experiences! Have you encountered any of these perks or challenges in your dating journey? Let's keep this conversation alive, and together, we'll explore the exciting, sometimes bumpy, but always enchanting road of modern love! I'd love to hear your stories, thoughts, and insights in the comments below.
So you are telling me that partners can do the bare minimum in a relationship, which is acceptable? Most relationships are becoming routine, and the partners merely perform their duties. One of the main reasons relationships and marriages are falling apart is the lack of commitment, which makes people grow apart. Why aren't we valuing our partners and emotionally investing in them? Because people who don't love their relationship with their partners tend to satisfy their needs by engaging in affairs or divorcing.
As I observe relationships and people's perceptions of a relationship, the emotional and physical bond is merely superficial. Over the years, a bare minimum connection makes the relationship mundane, and we often become attracted to others who make us feel special again. If you are in a relationship, it is essential to make the little moments memorable. It could be as simple as taking them out, engaging in valuable conversations, or doing something special for them. You may be in the '30s, 40s, or '50s, but you are never too old to appreciate somebody. It just reminds the other person that their efforts and presence in the relationship are acknowledged and valued. We are all trying to find emotional security and be loved in a relationship. It is not hard to be emotionally available to another person. When you are with your partner, you should feel comfortable being vulnerable, sharing your thoughts, and expressing your perspectives without fearing being judged or criticized. I believe many relationships fall apart over time because we tend not to value or respect the connection as we did initially.
How to resolve: Before getting into a relationship or commitment for life, observe how well you understand each other. Can the both of you resolve a conflict with maturity? Can you respect each other's differences? Explore and grow in a relationship. Keep the relationship engaging throughout the years. It is not hard to appreciate your partner, and small gestures can make them feel wanted in your life. Efforts should not end after you tied the knot. Commitment, involvement, and communication have a significant impact on keeping a relationship healthy.
If I were to describe myself in one sentence:
She is an optimistic girl with many crazy ambitions who is determined and has faith in her hard work to conquer.
That, I believe, is what defines and is the best part that motivates and inspires me to be the best version of myself every morning. Since I was 8, I used to take a piece of paper and plan my entire day of everything I needed to do. I loved studying, chess, the arts. I trained myself to make the most out of the time I had - that was the one thing I valued the most, time. I have experienced time so closely as a kid that I never took advantage of it. Yet I complain that 24 hours is too less, I need more!
When I reflect back, I see my growth towards my ambitions and passions. I used to give a pat on my back because I motivated myself to do better despite all adversities in my life. I genuinely want to thank my mother for giving me the self-confidence and freedom to develop my identity and personality. Yes, there is always that voice in my head that pushes me for perfection regardless. I believe in finding beauty and contentment in the process, but one must never forget the destination. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a strong, determined, hardworking individual.
When I was 11, I created a social media presence. When I was 15, I started my YouTube channel. In my spare time, I studied the psyche of the human mind, pursued the arts, and clicked photographs to cherish all the memories. Every day was a new beginning, and I took that quite literally. There are many things to do, stories to write, photos to click, things to learn, people to meet, and I still take my piece of paper planning to all out. And although you can not plan every hour of your life because life is a surprise element, having a planner or a things-to-do list is encouraging and helps you look forward to your day.
That is the best part about me. I am a free bird pursuing anything and everything I put my mind to. I love being creative and expressive. With all my knowledge and experiences, I want to become an even better version of myself. Thank you for believing in me for those who have been a part of my crazy journey. It has been a hell of a crazy creative life, but it's the beauty of my mind that makes me fall in love with my life every single day.
who will find you divine in you being yourself. They will sense your positive energy in your presence.
whom you don’t speak with in a long time, but it’s like a gap was never there once you connect.
whom you can connect with deeply, whom you can be vulnerable with. They will always make you feel comfortable.
who will want to get to know you, your ups and downs. They will be fascinated by the way you are inside and outside.
who will go an extra mile to make you happy, not because it’s their “obligation” but because they will go to any extent to make you smile.
who will always be there by your side, you know they will pick up your call in the middle of the night.
who will joke around with you and also be serious when you need them to be.
who will be worried for you and check up on you, making sure you are okay.
who you will feel intimate with in a few days of getting to know them.
who are not the closets with, but you love to exchange conversations with now and then.
who will want you but be insecure of themselves around you. It will seem like they are interested in you initially, but they will back down because they think you are "too" perfect for them.
who will gaze at you from far, too nervous about approaching you or getting to know you. These people will assume things about you to comfort their lack of confidence.
who will say that they are there for you, but they are never there. Sometimes they blame you instead of consoling you.
who will understand your value, worth, importance once you leave them.
who will envy how successful, dignified, and respected you are, so they will create obstacles for you because they want you to suffer.
who will reject you, not because there is something wrong with you, but they want to boost their ego.
who will make you feel that you are replaceable so you may find the compulsion of being perfect around them, so they don't discard you.
who will not admit to their faults but rather blame you for things you have not done. Perhaps wrongly accuse you of things in front of society.
who will want to be close with you but never tell you, hoping you would read their mind.
who will never see the sacrifices you made for them.
Throughout life, you will come across all kinds of people, some will uplift you, and some would upset you. It is on you to determine who is the best for your growth, someone that inspires you. The people who do not understand your worth do not need your attention. Do not try to prove yourself to someone who will replace you the next day. The same applies to yourself. Value people who bring happiness to you; don’t waste your time chasing after someone who was never yours. Try not to take advantage of people, be upfront about your feelings. Think of who is best for you, who helps you grow, who makes you smile.
Your past, present, future, is it all worth it? Are you content with the situation you are living in? All the sacrifices, all the pain you suffered, was all that even necessary? Have you forgiven yourself for conditions you did not have control over? Do you look in the mirror and accept reality or do you avoid it and ignore it saving it for another day? Are you happy with the journey you let so far? Do you love the people around you? Do they motivate you and help you in becoming a better person? Are you in love with your day-to-day life, or are you doing it for the sake of doing it? Have you imagined what your life might be like in the next 5 or 10 years? Are you working towards it? Is your purpose in life just surviving, or do you wish to be an inspiration to this world? You realize that we only have one life; are you making the most out of every day? Have you loved and accepted yourself, the person you are inside and outside? When was the last time you treated yourself, bought yourself a gift, or cooked your favorite meal? Do you give yourself care and attention, or do you wait for another individual to fulfill your desires? Do you get heartbroken and disheartened when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, or do you forgive? What are your limitations, principles, values, boundaries? What if someone breaks your rules? Do you leave the relationship or tolerate it? Is your life even real, or has someone trapped you in their fantasies? Are you happy with your partner, children, colleagues? Is there anyone’s energy that always throws you off? How do you cope with disappointments? Is your coping mechanism healthy or unhealthy? Are your decisions leading you to more harm or good? Are you the type to keep a grudge, or do you move on and forget? Did you know that being a wife, husband, employee or student are parts of your life and not whole? Do you let these relationships consume your everyday life?
It’s important to ask these questions to yourself from time to time so you do not get too carried away or consumed with one aspect of your life. It would help if you prioritized yourself above everything, yes, even in do-or-die situations. Enough rest, sleep, and care will help you with productivity and creativity. Don’t ever let an individual or a situation occupy your entire mind. Take a breath of fresh air, go out and come back to the problem. Even 5 minutes can help you get better clarity of your obstacles. Never let anyone tell you that you can not. I promise you; you can. Be there for yourself, love yourself. Your kidneys, liver, and intestines do not know the situation you are dealing with so give yourself nourishment. Live life for yourself; you need yourself. Pat yourself on the back; you made it far all by yourself.
The sexagenarian and Genz have a developed modern mindset of prioritizing themselves, a clear pattern in relationships. Individuals do not feel that obligation of compulsion to be part of a relationship that is not helping them grow. The elders would say people are giving up too soon; the young generation would say that people are standing up for themselves. This article is not picking a side but instead understanding a long-term relationship's pros and cons. It is for you to ultimately decide what is best for you and how you choose to live for the rest of your life.
If you agree with most of these, this person likely the one. From my experiences, the initial step to the long-term plan is communication. Communicate about how you see yourself in the next 5 or 10 years and how you see the relationship evolving simultaneously. If you are the type of person who wants to go with the flow (perhaps you don't want to plan every step), communicate that so the other person understands that you are considering long-term and are flexible about it. Have a conversation with them about career, kids, marriage, or factors you think could influence the relationship over time. Remember, as you are having these conversations, you or your partner will have different viewpoints; that is okay. You and your partner are two individuals who have united as a team to make this "project" work; sometimes, we have to take another route or take an extra mile to explain ourselves to move forward. Unless, of course, you are talking about bananas and they are talking about Mars, there is no correlation about your opinions, then it may be harder to agree.
“If your relationship is bringing you happiness, motivation, inspiration, providing a safe place to open up about your thoughts and emotions, bringing you pleasure, and most importantly, the teamwork is balanced between both partners, that relationship is the one!”
There are some basic ground rules that a couple must define and come to an agreement between themselves. One of the rules that I think is the most fundamental and neglected is, keep the arguments in the bedroom. 90% of the time, the disputes between two individuals come from an external factor, in most cases other individuals. Whatever the disagreement is about, keep the conversations amongst yourselves. You never know about asking for help from another person these days. Some people do not want to see you in a successful relationship, so they intentionally give you the wrong advice, while others may unintentionally. Don't go sharing your difficulties unless it is an individual you trust. Have faith in yourself and your attitude; you probably know your partner, relationship, and conflict better than anyone else. No one can help you better analyze than yourself.
Let's introspect about some basic questions:
Is your partner worth your energy?
Do you feel comfortable being yourself with them? (yes, they should love you, especially during your bad days)
Are the two of you on the same page about your relationship? Goals? Dreams?
Do you want your partner to be there with you for the rest of your life?
With long-term comes these conflicts where you have to decide to fix or walk away. Think to yourself, will the issue matter in the next 5 or 10 years? Does the other person acknowledge there is an issue in the first place? Do they understand your perspective, or are they adamant about their belief? Is there any way to resolve the conflict, or is there no solution to it? Before making an impulsive decision, you must understand the difficulty and analyze if one can improve it. I know of this one couple who talk out their conflicts (if they have any) at night; they don't sleep with any grudge. Find your way to overcome issues.
Once you have mastered communication, acceptance, patience, and conflicts, you are pretty damn close to a long-term relationship. Now I will come to a point where Gen Z says, getting "bored" in the relationship or, like the millennials say, growing "out of love." The best way to overcome this mindset (because you can grow out of love in 10 relationships, unable to find that satisfaction – not saying that involving yourself in 10 relationships is wrong, but you will exhaust yourself) is by starting to see your significant other like family. I mean, if you are considering a long-term, aren't they family? Then, ask yourself how it is like with your biological family. Do you tell your mother, "I am bored of you; I don't want to be your child anymore?" Don't you see putting in the effort, so they understand your viewpoint about things? Start putting in the same effort in your relationship with your significant other.
Too many complications cause you to overthink, feeling overwhelmed, and consumed in problem – these situations are unnecessary, and it's all just part of life. Take it from me; ever since I was very young, it's always been a proportion of 90% problems and 10% happiness. And those problems would be something completely different every time. It would be new, something completely unrelated, and spontaneous. I would be shocked to hear something when I am least expecting it.
But I am not here to talk about your problems or my problems. It is not about solving them either, because there are problems which exist in your life which do not have a solution.
This blog is about staying still, staying intact even when life is going in all different directions. For me to lead a smooth and simple life, I only focus on what I can control. What are the priorities which you can deal with by yourself? Make that list. What I usually do is make a things-to-do list, create comfortable deadlines, schedule it in a way where it's realistic and accomplishable. You are already dealing with so much that whatever you do now, do it in baby steps. This will help you live in the present and help you do what needs to be done now. But what about all the problems in the past? Or what about all of the issues which may come in the future.
Being an experienced human, I will not tell you, "don't look back, move forward."
There may be severe problems that happened in your past. Maybe those traumas affect you in your present situation. Give yourself time, but the world does not wait for anyone. So for a more practical approach, I would say give yourself 5 minutes to cry. Just cry, let it out. Accepting your past will help you move ahead more than avoiding it. Things happened, things happened, it hurts you obviously because you are a human. Five minutes, give yourself time to let it out. Bring yourself to an agreement and, most importantly, a closure.
What about the problems which I know can arise in the future?
The future is unknown and can not be determined, true. But we all have an instinct where sometimes we know this could happen or there is a possibility. Since we can not control the future, it is not tangible; I would be aware of it. For example, if you know that you have a medical condition that might lead to something in the future, you could bring changes that you could get in your lifestyle, which may help. Being aware is essential for knowledge. Knowledge is money in today's world.
I know this is a lot, and there is much more, but the past, present, and future are all there is in life. Everything should balance each other out to simplify life. These are just some strategies that I use to stay sane. And focus on that 10% of happiness in your life. See everything is up here, in your mind.
If you want to take it a step further, see if you can make the 10% of happiness 99.9%? It's possible only if you allow your mind to believe it is.
I have seen many successful marriages, broken relationships, young dating experience. A shift happened with relationships over generations, and something which is still controversial today is the balance between individuality and togetherness. Also, there are many people our age comfortable in their dens, hoping someone would knock and their doors and propose them. It does not work that way; one must step out of their comfort zone if they are looking for the fish in the sea. Back in the day, most of our elders (grandparents’ generation) who are successfully married had a lot of “us” in the relationship, which is that kids these days cannot gulp down. They are continually looking out for themselves and have that insecurity that their freedom will get eradicated from this universe in a relationship. It is confusing, so we have to backtrack for a second.
To my dear young generation: a relationship, a marriage is an option. If you see yourself when you are 80 years old in a house all by yourself, living your day to day life, you do not need to get married.
If you think for a second that you need a companion whom you could talk to or share your feelings with when you are 80, then you need to find yourself a significant other.
Because when you are 80, it is not necessary that you have a group of friends who can conveniently hang out when they want to like you have now.
Also, do you need that one person whom you can share your mind with? Or are you entirely self-sufficient with yourself?
Additionally, my dear youngsters, you cannot plan every moment of your life. If you say that you will get married after 30, things do not need to materialize in a way to please your desires.
It is essential to ease your mind for a second, and let life take you through its course.
If things try to fructify when you are 25, and everything seems to go smoothly, why would you want to halt the journey and take a different turn? Unless it is worth it, and maybe you have other priorities besides relationships.
Now, coming down to relationships. The more we get older, the more formed we are. We know our likes and dislikes better than we knew when we were kids, right? We know what is right and what is wrong, better right? It is nothing but natural also to be more particular about our choices on our significant other as we get older. This is natural, but it makes us choosier and makes it difficult for us to get along, which does not work out.
We are looking for someone who is so similar to us that we are literally asking for someone to make our clone.
If you are in this journey of finding your better twin, sorry your better half, then I pray the world materializes for your desires within your lifetime.
If you have been in this world for long, there must be one thing you have learned by now that “you cannot have it all.” If you have not learned this, remember this. It will help you to be appreciative and be grateful for the things you do have in life.
When you have all that figured out, kids of this generation need to remember another point; relationships/ marriages do not mean that your individuality is at stake. You can be the person you want, pursue your dreams, depending on your partner. People are overdramatizing this, but there are very few partners out there in the world who are so dominating that they will overshadow your personality. They might have that control or authority, which may require you to ask permission before doing things, which is clearly wrong and unjustified. But that is a handful out of many. Most people are open to giving their partners the freedom to explore and encourage them to pursue their goals. This may differ relationship to relationship, but do not let this idea overshadow your approach in a relationship.
Another important thing which I have to mention is to be clear about the person you are before you get into a relationship. One may not have it all figured out yet, but shouldn’t one be honest about the person they are already?
Not being truthful from the start has caused many relationships to lose that trust, which is everything.
What happens is this factor of “individuality.”
Many people misuse their freedom of individuality. It saddens me that such behavior is common and acceptable in society. I have seen marriages where two people commit and are dishonest to each other, which is considered okay.
It is normal to sleep with another person; it is reasonable to flirt; it is all right to commit to any action we once used to call cheating.
Many people justify this behavior by calling it their freedom to “lead my life; however, I want to.” If people are compliant with these actions after being bonded by someone officially, they might as well have mentioned it before committing. If one chooses to live a lifestyle sleeping around with other people, tell your partner before you get into a relationship with them. If they are okay with this behavior, then that is amazing – if not, it is better to leave their life.
Back in our grandparent’s generation, many people slept with one person throughout their life. They never had urges or cheated on their partners to satisfy themselves.
I pen this because it is so common and so wrong. It is personal to me because this is the trend in my culture. The country where I belong, the nationality I identify myself with, is accepting of this, and that is not justified. I do not want to see my generation with the same attitude. If you think this is okay, then be honest—every honesty built in the relationship forms this trust.
Trust does not happen instantly; it is formulated every day by actions or words over the years.
If you have changed over the period of the relationship, then speak up. Hiding the truth about your thoughts, words, and actions is you doing wrong to another person. There may be times where one changes their habits or behavior in a relationship, speak up so the other person can cope and understand you gradually.
These are two topics about before and after a relationship. I wanted to write it together because it was in my mind, and I felt quite disturbed thinking about what the world has come to these days. Youngsters are confused about entering a relationship because the parent generation is not setting the right example. People have overcomplicated a pure bond that is shared between two people. When you are choosing your partner, you cannot conclude by experimenting with multiple people. It is all guesswork, and it is about that “us.” It is about sharing.
Sharing what is yours, and them sharing what is theirs. Love is supposed to bring growth and purity because when you learn how to share, you learn how to give and take.
The minute you calculate, give, and take, your love becomes conditional. When you don’t keep track and have expectations, your love is unconditional. I hope and pray that everybody seeking partners receives a companion who respects and values your give and takes.
Tell about a time when an individual hurt you and how that situation impacted you and shaped you as a person today.
I have learned a significant number of things from relationships. I have undergone pain in relationships. There was betrayal in terms of cheating, disrespect, putting the other person down. All the things that went wrong and hurt me helped me learn to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
Never give an individual that authority that they dare to ever put you down.
I have never been a person who boasts about my efforts in a relationship. I enjoy doing things to make the other person happy. It satisfies me when I make someone smile. When I truly love someone, I am the type of person who would think of creative ways to express my love. I don’t wait for Valentine’s Day or birthdays; I like celebrating love spontaneously.
Moreover, I do not do things for anything in return. I am not calculative or keep track of things like that. I am all about making moments the best it can be. The only thing which I expect is acknowledgment. Appreciation could be an obligation for some people, so I will not even go there. But the necessary minimum requirement, in my opinion, is acknowledgment. One cannot take an individual for granted. A person can be going through much effort, and by merely saying, “you did not do anything” or not even take into account what the person went through is disrespectful. I learned that I want to be pampered and loved now, but on a serious note, I learned that I need to walk away from people who take me for granted. It is tough for people who have a lot of love to have that determination to draw a line. But it is so crucial for your mental health. It won’t hurt anybody’s ego if they acknowledge the effort their partner puts in the relationship.
As a person I am today, I have given myself a lot of love. I give myself credit, give a pat on my back when I accomplish my goals. I also pamper myself for all my hard work. I believe that appreciating yourself can help you feel good about yourself. On the daily, one should understand that one has done the best one could, and one deserves a reward for it. If I get my beauty sleep and eat nutritious food, it helps me to be more productive. I do not blame myself; I am not harsh on myself.
I understand and accept that I have my strengths and weaknesses; that makes up the person I am.
I love all my good qualities and accept my flaws. With that, I do the best I can in any given situation. Don’t let anybody let this beautiful relationship with yourself take it away from you.
There are many people out there with an inferiority complex who will crumble you by exaggerating your mistakes. Do not let anybody tell you are weak. Believe in your potential because these people will make you feel down because that makes them feel superior. This is how it works; once they successfully fit into your mind that “you were incapable of doing something and feel sorry and guilty for it,” they will automatically feel like they are better than you. It is messed up, and don’t let anybody mess with your head. Before you get into a relationship, you need to understand yourself. Know about your powers and limitations. And never give another person the authority to tell who you are and what you are capable of. If anyone does not acknowledge your efforts, tells you that you did not “do anything”; walk away. This may seem subtle, but through my experience, I can say one thing for sure that this will eventually bring one’s self-confidence low over the years. They will stop listening to themselves and be dependent on how the other person tells them how good or bad they are. Don’t go there. You do not want to be at a place like this or with an individual like this.
A relationship should be where both the partners unconditionally support each other through good and bad times.
Moreover, the two individuals should whole-heartedly contribute to the relationship. The contribution is not one-sided. A relationship is teamwork, and although efforts cannot be calculated, participation is equally valuable. Otherwise, one person would be having pleasure while the other is drained, keeping the relationship alive.
Also, appreciate. I know it’s a lot, but a thank you has never done any harm. A simple thank you can help the other person feel appreciated. It shows to them that you noticed and admired. We all need love and acceptance in this world. We all want someone who understands us for the person we are. Even if she made you a vanilla cake, when you wanted strawberry cake – it is the intention which counts, which is that she baked you a cake. If someone is going an extra step, tell them you noticed and give thanks.
How can you keep love alive over the years?
Fall in love with your partner, for the person they really are, and I promise you that spending every day wouldn't be enough.
How would you like to spend a special day with your partner?
A special day would be a trip to a scenic place, somewhere like the mountains with beautiful views. Also, I love fine dining, fancy cuisine, and adventure in the city.
Have you ever gone on a date?
Yes! Duh lol
Would you rather stay in or go out for a date?
Go out like for movies and food, or even a trip to the city.
What makes a relationship healthy?
Be there for them, but also be there for yourself.
How do you know when you love someone?
You would feel in peace with their company. You would enjoy their presence. Everything about that person would bring a smile to your face.
Should you get married?
I am okay with the idea of getting married. Perfectly fine with the idea of being by myself, too, because I am one self-entertained person.
How can a man win you?
Plan a day better than I can, and I am yours.
Do you have a crush on someone?
No!... I do find some guys are cute, but nothing serious.
Should you have children as soon as you get married?
No. That's why I encourage getting married earlier to enjoy some time together before some real responsibilities kick in.
What would you define as cheating?
An individual does behind a partner's back for their selfish pleasures, too coward to tell their partner the truth.
How often do you date?
I haven't dated in years, and I am not a dating type anymore.
Do you sacrifice for your relationships?
Yes, you need to give in and give up, that is how relationships work. Things may not go your way always, and one needs to be accepting of that.
What's the best relationship advice that someone has given to you?
Marriage is a gamble.
How romantic are you?
Very!
Do you think that people can change when they love someone?
Yes, everybody changes when they love someone even if they don't admit it. People tend to become softer and more understanding, they might find themselves be more understanding and caring towards others. Love changes you for the better.
What makes people fall out of love?
People who fall out of love are cowards. They do not have the guts to commit fully to one person. They make up excuses and find faults in the other person and relationship to cover their weakness. You might often see these people say that they are "bored" or "things aren't what they were before." They enjoy the adrenaline rush at the beginning of the relationship but are scared of monotony.
What is your biggest fear about relationships?
I fear of the relationship falling apart, and the partner giving up halfway. Also, dishonesty and unfaithfulness is something I can't bear.
High school so far for me has gone by way too fast than it should have been. It has had both its ups and downs. I wonder now about high school life and how it would be for the next two years. A lot of things have changed. Whatever I have dealt in high school, whether good or bad, has made me a better and more mature person right now. And I know this is not it yet. There are more things to learn in life, but whatever high school has taught me so far would never be forgotten. I don’t think that I would be ever overloaded with academic work, as I am not taking very many advanced placements or honors classes. The thing that would affect is the little things. For example, managing friends and school together, time limits, making time for other things. I believe that high school is probably the hardest stage of your life, not because of academics and little things like that. Highschool is the hardest stage because people undergo a lot of physical and mental changes right now. People never think about what they say or say what they think. Every individual is confusing in his or her way. It is hard to deal with other people’s emotions and mood swings while you are trying A’s and 100% in your AP and honors class.
My goal for high school and after is to be a better person, and I want to learn and keep learning from life. After high school, I want to pursue art, along with the philosophy of psychology. I will somehow take the right amount of courses to be a psychiatrist, a child psychiatrist. I don’t have very many close friends in school. It is sad now that I think that the people I hang around with every day during lunch know nothing about it as if there is no depth in our friendships. And the best friend I have whom I thought we would be friends there has ben only drama. My best memory of high school so far was probably all the memories I spent with my best friend, like the basketball games we have been through, and everyday fun that had happened. Little nicknames we had for each other that I still remember were… I had great times with my friend, and I cherish all the moments we shared. I try to look into our friendship and try to look for what I learn from it, but I guess that doesn’t help me forget it. Although my life is way beyond complicated right now, I hope and will try to do very well academically and do well on my finals and get my grade up. I can not sacrifice my grades for someone who lives in my past and not my present.
-Deepasha
Now let’s say that it is the first time I introduce myself to someone and eventually get to know someone. Especially as you get older with age, it gets more and more awkward (or so I think). So, I think the quickest way to get to my heart would be for the other person to be honest and open about themselves.
I know of this one friend where we have been so close, and it’s been less than a year since we have been friends, yet we are so comfortable talking about anything and everything. We could talk about Indian Soap Operas with as intensity as we talk about our love lives. Our friendship and herself as a person were quickest to my heart. And I also believe that being comfortable with each other comes from both ways. I remember that both of us felt awkward initially, but we went out of the way to approach each other—both of us mutually initiated plans. We could communicate with each other without hesitation. So that entire journey builds because this friendship has to come from both ways.
Another instance is with my mom. She has always been in my heart, and I have always admired her every day. There was this one day, though, where she completely opened up to me. That was so important for our relationship. And with honesty comes trust, the more people are honest about themselves, the more you can trust them for the person they are.
So yeh, I have gotten to know many new people, especially in the past year. It was all because they would be open to me; moreover, some people have been very spontaneous. Like I would not be expecting, and the other person does something special. I notice and remember all the sweet gestures, and my heart melts when I think about it.
Being honest with yourself, making an effort to build a friendship or a relationship is the quickest way to my heart. And if you want a faster way to my heart, then surprise me!
Especially at a time like this, the quickest way to my heart is to leave the sweetest text. Who doesn’t love knowing that you are missed and being thought of by another person? A simple how are you, how are things going has melted my heart these past couple months.
Writing this makes me feel so blessed for everybody who is already in my heart—lots of love and cuddles to all.
It got me wondering when I came across this thought of what qualities are important for me in a guy. What is my ideal match whom I would say yes without a second thought? Who knows how my actual partner might be like, or maybe he comes across this blog and smiles to himself? There is no harm in thinking.
The most important quality would probably be being passionate about love and life—someone who wants to grow in the relationship. I would want the guy to love me unconditionally and accept me for the person I am. I read somewhere that when you passionately love someone, you are willing to be with them through thick and thin. Furthermore, I feel like with passion comes all the other elements like concern, care, being affectionate because you want to be there for that person through their happiness and their sadness because it matters to you. Every little gesture can mean so much for someone if there are genuine feelings behind it. These gestures, actions, and words may seem trivial at first, but this builds the relationship and makes it stronger over time.
Another essential quality, which is the guy must have is honesty. Two people should start a relationship with honesty; this can avoid a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts in the future. Trustworthiness also brings surety. In order to build trust in a relationship, it is essential to be honest. Nobody is perfect, and people unintentionally may make mistakes, but if you have the freedom to be open with each other, that is such a beautiful quality to have. Tell the truth about yourself and give the other person a chance to fall in love with that person. Usually, what happens is that when two people go out of their way to make the relationship look pretty in the beginning, and eventually they get tired out because that is not who they are. One would never feel like they are going out of the way if they genuinely want to make another person happy.
With that brings loyalty. When one is passionate and honest, there should be no space where the partner questions loyalty. It is essential to know that if you signed up for the commitment, there is no turning back. And I want a partner who has that courage and is responsible for loving me enough to commit for life. Talking about responsibility, I want a mature and reliable partner—someone who has an aim in his life, someone who knows his priorities. I want someone who can keep a healthy balance between work and personal life. Most importantly, I want an emotionally stable guy who has the depth to understand and is open-minded.
Moreover, that person should be like a friend who will listen to you and encourage you in life—someone who is concerned about your well-being. Sensibility is also an outstanding quality, so he understands to make the most out of the time spent together. Because being in a relationship is so special, and time flies, especially when you're having fun. Him making sure to make every moment count can make the time worthwhile. Lastly, believing and having faith is essential. Him believing in me, believing in the love and believing in the relationship, knowing that there will be issues, but also knowing that staying and overcoming tough times will be worth it.
Extra Credit: Sense of humor, patience, creativity, good cook
It is not like one has to learn these things, which I have mentioned. If you genuinely love the person, all these things will naturally come to you. It is really about genuinely feeling for and loving the other person.
Home has been an important place, especially at a time like this, where we are encouraged to stay indoors. I am humbly grateful for being in a home where my family is. My family is my home. It does not matter where we are or where we stay. My family and I have changed over ten homes. We have spent endless months in hotels, guest house, grandparents' place without knowing where our next home will be. One could blame a person, their job, circumstance, but it never mattered as long as I have my mom and years later, my little brother. We started moving around ever since I was one year old. I've always been with my mother, supporter her the best I could in the transition phase. At times we did not know why we were moving. I would not know when my last day in school would be. My home isn't a house of luxury; it is where my mom is.
I have naturally never been attached to a worldly place. But to name a few memorable places I have lived has been Calcutta and Hyderabad. My mother does mention about the pleasure we had living in Gujarat, but I was a newborn, too young to remember. As I grew older, around 12 years, I thought I was a gypsy, always changing home—silly me. Transitioning from one place to another was hard, especially as I grew older. As long as I have my mom and her love and support, that is where my home is. And my little brother who brightens up my house.
My little brother, the ray of sunshine and my mom, the sun.
Shimla Trip
Love you Momma <3
Hate to break it, but it’s true. Online dating is very similar to an arranged marriage. This is only applicable to people who are trying to find a serious relationship through dating apps. Back in the day, during conservative times, a guy and a girl would see their significant other’s photograph provided by a family member. And that is how they would know who their life partner is. Or so it happened in Indian culture. Although trends have changed, many families still opt for arranged marriage over love marriage. Well, that’s because elders are elders, and they believe they can make the best decision for their kids. They are not wrong; after all, they want their children to be happy and prosperous. They would convince their child by emphasizing the similarities the two have in common. You might hear these parents starting off with education, job, hobbies. And the most critical part – height! Before you know it, they have already convinced you that this stranger is just like you, if not more; therefore, he/ she is the perfect match.
Meanwhile, most of the kids now are growing up thinking they know who the best for them will be. So, they take matters in their own hands – oh sorry, matters in the hand of an app. The best and the most trending app, of course, so one can browse as many people as possible. So now an app just like their parents gives them a list of people to chose from. One can set their filters and prioritize their preferences. They can see their profiles, obviously starting out with their photo. The first photo is everything; by the way, if it is worth it, all the other images will be browsed. Now, if the pictures are mesmerizing or even reasonable, one may begin browsing about them further and look into their education, job, hobbies. And the most critical part – height!
So the concept is the same; the purpose is the same – it is just that by using an app, it may seem like everything is in your control. But people will be people whether it is found by you or your parents or your relatives. Consider all the options with the same judgment. After all, you only need that one person to share your life with, so how does it matter how you found them?
If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?
What song would you say best sums you up?
What is something you look for in a partner?
If you could give your younger self any advice, what would it be?
If you have a nickname, what is it?
When was the last time you cried?
What was the last thing you bought?
What do you want to be remembered for?
What are some of your personal “rules” that you never break?
What dreams have you given up on as unrealistic?
Describe yourself in a single sentence?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What do you consider unforgivable?
What is something that your friends wouldn’t believe was true about you?
What’s the title of the current chapter of your life?
What lifestyle change have you meant to make for a while now?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?
How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?
How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?
What is the first movie you remember seeing?
What is the last film you saw?
Are you high maintenance?
Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?
Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away?
Do you have a catchphrase?
What makes a relationship healthy? Moreover, what makes a relationship healthy in the long run? Consistency, understanding, and acceptance. The “honeymoon phase” or the initial phase of life should not be the only beautiful phase in the relationship. The honeymoon phase should exist from the start to the very end. To have growth, both should put the same effort to keep the relationship alive every single day. A relationship is a bond between two people; both are expected to contribute equally in keeping the relationship alive. It is not about the things done together, because eventually, one might run out of things to do – it is more important to enjoy being in the presence of each other. Also, one needs to understand that there will be differences.
It is up to us to decide if we can understand and accept each other’s differences and keep the relationship alive.
When one grows old with another person, expressing love through gestures or actions shows that they care. When love comes naturally, it will come as an instinct to have concern and love. It is important to always remind oneself of the value and worth of the significant other. Over time one may forget and take advantage. To not do that, think of what the other person means to you. Giving the importance and respect to the other person will help in keeping the relationship healthy and positive.
Understanding can solve a lot in a relationship. Problems, differences will emerge sooner or later. Two individuals cannot agree on every single issue (notice that issues are most of the time caused by a third party). It will help to overcome or to get clarity if one understands their partner’s perspective. It is also imperative to state your point, but do not get carried away in defending yourself that you shut away from someone else’s perspective.
Learning to accept comes with time and sensibleness. People change over time. Their likes and dislikes may change. When one understands, it will help in accepting and overcoming changes. There is a catch in this. In my opinion, one must not accept if the partner’s differences are impacting the other person’s lifestyle negatively. Apart from that, if there are positive changes a person is bringing, least the other can do is accept.
Various other things can also help a relationship grow positively, such as communication. One of the biggest reasons why people do not communicate is that one person thinks that the other person would feel bad. First off, do not do things that are impacting negatively on a relationship. If one has done so, it is better to say it than to hide it. The person may feel bad, but they would feel worse if they found things from somebody else. The other reason why one person does not communicate with the other is that they think that it is not important to talk about it. Important is an opinion.
What is not important to one may be important to the other.
Play it safe, be real, and be fearless. Sharing the smallest instances, mistakes, embarrassing moments is all part of communication, and communicating makes a relationship healthy.
Trust is big. Trust goes without saying, goes without proving. Factors like communicating, being honest all bring trust in the relationship.
Moreover, people who are thinking about committing should remember that one will not find their identical twin as their life partner, especially in this day and age. If one wants to settle with somebody, they have to compromise. Compromise wants to an extent but not needs. Be consistent, understanding, and accepting.
Be real and be yourself since day 1.
Meditation is when the mind focuses on one single thought. All the external distractions do not interfere with the concentration. In pure meditation, sometimes, the present state dissolved. It no longer matters what is going around the human body. That concentration is much more beyond the body’s wants and needs. It is all about being in that state of peace. After waking up from that meditative state, it’s time to realize that one is much more than just the body. The world doesn’t end for us after death. The body’s needs and wants are not the purposes of life. Meditation makes you realize that there is so much more.
“The mind is the senses, emotions, intellect, and will.”
Once somebody realizes the grandeur truth, they are aware that senses, emotions, intellect, and do not control them. When this bridge is crossed, that is when you come closer to your consciousness. When realized that the mind is no higher than the body, that is the ultimate state of peace.
After deep meditation, it is evident what separates you from the infinite consciousness, which is the personal identity - dissolves. The realization is called “undifferentiated awareness.”
Turiya is the state of waking up from a dreamless sleep. At this stage, one is neither aware of the presence of their mind nor the body. Once reached this ultimate peace, then one is in “Samadhi” when one is liberated or “Moksh.” Everything else is just Brahm. It is this state where one is the most alive.
Realizing that one is much more beyond the body, mind, and personal identity, they discover the Self or the Atman.
“Our real Self is not different from the ultimate reality called God.”
Realizing this truth, the Self merges with the infinite consciousness. Once absorbed, there is no difference in space and time. If not united, the differences are dissolved, and the awareness remains “chit.”
When consciousness reaches the state of samadhi, the body combines itself with time, space, the dimension in a package. The entire reality is within. This is the moment of being complete, is called Sat. The process of meditation brings the ultimate joy to humanity. Being in total awareness and bliss brings joy. Being one (united) with the Self is then the only desire.
Tat Twam Asi