How to Make a Long-Term Relationship Work
The sexagenarian and Genz have a developed modern mindset of prioritizing themselves, a clear pattern in relationships. Individuals do not feel that obligation of compulsion to be part of a relationship that is not helping them grow. The elders would say people are giving up too soon; the young generation would say that people are standing up for themselves. This article is not picking a side but instead understanding a long-term relationship's pros and cons. It is for you to ultimately decide what is best for you and how you choose to live for the rest of your life.
If you agree with most of these, this person likely the one. From my experiences, the initial step to the long-term plan is communication. Communicate about how you see yourself in the next 5 or 10 years and how you see the relationship evolving simultaneously. If you are the type of person who wants to go with the flow (perhaps you don't want to plan every step), communicate that so the other person understands that you are considering long-term and are flexible about it. Have a conversation with them about career, kids, marriage, or factors you think could influence the relationship over time. Remember, as you are having these conversations, you or your partner will have different viewpoints; that is okay. You and your partner are two individuals who have united as a team to make this "project" work; sometimes, we have to take another route or take an extra mile to explain ourselves to move forward. Unless, of course, you are talking about bananas and they are talking about Mars, there is no correlation about your opinions, then it may be harder to agree.
“If your relationship is bringing you happiness, motivation, inspiration, providing a safe place to open up about your thoughts and emotions, bringing you pleasure, and most importantly, the teamwork is balanced between both partners, that relationship is the one!”
There are some basic ground rules that a couple must define and come to an agreement between themselves. One of the rules that I think is the most fundamental and neglected is, keep the arguments in the bedroom. 90% of the time, the disputes between two individuals come from an external factor, in most cases other individuals. Whatever the disagreement is about, keep the conversations amongst yourselves. You never know about asking for help from another person these days. Some people do not want to see you in a successful relationship, so they intentionally give you the wrong advice, while others may unintentionally. Don't go sharing your difficulties unless it is an individual you trust. Have faith in yourself and your attitude; you probably know your partner, relationship, and conflict better than anyone else. No one can help you better analyze than yourself.
Let's introspect about some basic questions:
Is your partner worth your energy?
Do you feel comfortable being yourself with them? (yes, they should love you, especially during your bad days)
Are the two of you on the same page about your relationship? Goals? Dreams?
Do you want your partner to be there with you for the rest of your life?
With long-term comes these conflicts where you have to decide to fix or walk away. Think to yourself, will the issue matter in the next 5 or 10 years? Does the other person acknowledge there is an issue in the first place? Do they understand your perspective, or are they adamant about their belief? Is there any way to resolve the conflict, or is there no solution to it? Before making an impulsive decision, you must understand the difficulty and analyze if one can improve it. I know of this one couple who talk out their conflicts (if they have any) at night; they don't sleep with any grudge. Find your way to overcome issues.
Once you have mastered communication, acceptance, patience, and conflicts, you are pretty damn close to a long-term relationship. Now I will come to a point where Gen Z says, getting "bored" in the relationship or, like the millennials say, growing "out of love." The best way to overcome this mindset (because you can grow out of love in 10 relationships, unable to find that satisfaction – not saying that involving yourself in 10 relationships is wrong, but you will exhaust yourself) is by starting to see your significant other like family. I mean, if you are considering a long-term, aren't they family? Then, ask yourself how it is like with your biological family. Do you tell your mother, "I am bored of you; I don't want to be your child anymore?" Don't you see putting in the effort, so they understand your viewpoint about things? Start putting in the same effort in your relationship with your significant other.