Healthy and Happy, for Yourself

Your past, present, future, is it all worth it? Are you content with the situation you are living in? All the sacrifices, all the pain you suffered, was all that even necessary? Have you forgiven yourself for conditions you did not have control over? Do you look in the mirror and accept reality or do you avoid it and ignore it saving it for another day? Are you happy with the journey you let so far? Do you love the people around you? Do they motivate you and help you in becoming a better person? Are you in love with your day-to-day life, or are you doing it for the sake of doing it? Have you imagined what your life might be like in the next 5 or 10 years? Are you working towards it? Is your purpose in life just surviving, or do you wish to be an inspiration to this world? You realize that we only have one life; are you making the most out of every day? Have you loved and accepted yourself, the person you are inside and outside? When was the last time you treated yourself, bought yourself a gift, or cooked your favorite meal? Do you give yourself care and attention, or do you wait for another individual to fulfill your desires? Do you get heartbroken and disheartened when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, or do you forgive? What are your limitations, principles, values, boundaries? What if someone breaks your rules? Do you leave the relationship or tolerate it? Is your life even real, or has someone trapped you in their fantasies? Are you happy with your partner, children, colleagues? Is there anyone’s energy that always throws you off? How do you cope with disappointments? Is your coping mechanism healthy or unhealthy? Are your decisions leading you to more harm or good? Are you the type to keep a grudge, or do you move on and forget? Did you know that being a wife, husband, employee or student are parts of your life and not whole? Do you let these relationships consume your everyday life?

It’s important to ask these questions to yourself from time to time so you do not get too carried away or consumed with one aspect of your life. It would help if you prioritized yourself above everything, yes, even in do-or-die situations. Enough rest, sleep, and care will help you with productivity and creativity. Don’t ever let an individual or a situation occupy your entire mind. Take a breath of fresh air, go out and come back to the problem. Even 5 minutes can help you get better clarity of your obstacles. Never let anyone tell you that you can not. I promise you; you can. Be there for yourself, love yourself. Your kidneys, liver, and intestines do not know the situation you are dealing with so give yourself nourishment. Live life for yourself; you need yourself. Pat yourself on the back; you made it far all by yourself.

How to Simplify Your Life?

Too many complications cause you to overthink, feeling overwhelmed, and consumed in problem – these situations are unnecessary, and it's all just part of life. Take it from me; ever since I was very young, it's always been a proportion of 90% problems and 10% happiness. And those problems would be something completely different every time. It would be new, something completely unrelated, and spontaneous. I would be shocked to hear something when I am least expecting it.

But I am not here to talk about your problems or my problems. It is not about solving them either, because there are problems which exist in your life which do not have a solution.

This blog is about staying still, staying intact even when life is going in all different directions. For me to lead a smooth and simple life, I only focus on what I can control. What are the priorities which you can deal with by yourself? Make that list. What I usually do is make a things-to-do list, create comfortable deadlines, schedule it in a way where it's realistic and accomplishable. You are already dealing with so much that whatever you do now, do it in baby steps. This will help you live in the present and help you do what needs to be done now. But what about all the problems in the past? Or what about all of the issues which may come in the future.

Being an experienced human, I will not tell you, "don't look back, move forward."

There may be severe problems that happened in your past. Maybe those traumas affect you in your present situation. Give yourself time, but the world does not wait for anyone. So for a more practical approach, I would say give yourself 5 minutes to cry. Just cry, let it out. Accepting your past will help you move ahead more than avoiding it. Things happened, things happened, it hurts you obviously because you are a human. Five minutes, give yourself time to let it out. Bring yourself to an agreement and, most importantly, a closure.

What about the problems which I know can arise in the future?

The future is unknown and can not be determined, true. But we all have an instinct where sometimes we know this could happen or there is a possibility. Since we can not control the future, it is not tangible; I would be aware of it. For example, if you know that you have a medical condition that might lead to something in the future, you could bring changes that you could get in your lifestyle, which may help. Being aware is essential for knowledge. Knowledge is money in today's world.

I know this is a lot, and there is much more, but the past, present, and future are all there is in life. Everything should balance each other out to simplify life. These are just some strategies that I use to stay sane. And focus on that 10% of happiness in your life. See everything is up here, in your mind.

If you want to take it a step further, see if you can make the 10% of happiness 99.9%? It's possible only if you allow your mind to believe it is.

Sounds Like a "Them" Problem

Self-confidence is a skill that I try developing every single day, whether it is reflected in my behavior, words, or even my thoughts. The minute I catch myself self-doubting, I immediately correct myself. I have recently learned that it is very important to trust yourself. You are going to be with yourself for a long time now, it is good to have a loving relationship with yourself.

There have been many times these past few weeks where I have questioned myself, “what if”, “if this, then what”- trying to assume the consequence before even acting upon it. Questions like these often lead to thoughts like “you know what, forget it” “never-mind” “I won’t even because it won’t matter anyway”.

First of all, you are right!

Second of all, your feelings are valid!

Believe in yourself, because if you won’t then who will? Assure yourself, which will help you feel motivated and grow your confidence. If people give you reasons to not believe, give yourself reasons to believe. You do not need to modify your thoughts or words according to what others “may” feel like. Because at the end of the day what matters is your happiness, if you are happy others will be too!

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Other’s must learn to deal with you the way you are if they want you in their lives. Or like I say “sounds like a them problem.”