Relationship Approach and Trends

I have seen many successful marriages, broken relationships, young dating experience. A shift happened with relationships over generations, and something which is still controversial today is the balance between individuality and togetherness. Also, there are many people our age comfortable in their dens, hoping someone would knock and their doors and propose them. It does not work that way; one must step out of their comfort zone if they are looking for the fish in the sea. Back in the day, most of our elders (grandparents’ generation) who are successfully married had a lot of “us” in the relationship, which is that kids these days cannot gulp down. They are continually looking out for themselves and have that insecurity that their freedom will get eradicated from this universe in a relationship. It is confusing, so we have to backtrack for a second.

To my dear young generation: a relationship, a marriage is an option. If you see yourself when you are 80 years old in a house all by yourself, living your day to day life, you do not need to get married.

If you think for a second that you need a companion whom you could talk to or share your feelings with when you are 80, then you need to find yourself a significant other.

Because when you are 80, it is not necessary that you have a group of friends who can conveniently hang out when they want to like you have now.

Also, do you need that one person whom you can share your mind with? Or are you entirely self-sufficient with yourself?

Additionally, my dear youngsters, you cannot plan every moment of your life. If you say that you will get married after 30, things do not need to materialize in a way to please your desires.

It is essential to ease your mind for a second, and let life take you through its course.

If things try to fructify when you are 25, and everything seems to go smoothly, why would you want to halt the journey and take a different turn? Unless it is worth it, and maybe you have other priorities besides relationships.

Now, coming down to relationships. The more we get older, the more formed we are. We know our likes and dislikes better than we knew when we were kids, right? We know what is right and what is wrong, better right? It is nothing but natural also to be more particular about our choices on our significant other as we get older. This is natural, but it makes us choosier and makes it difficult for us to get along, which does not work out.

We are looking for someone who is so similar to us that we are literally asking for someone to make our clone.

If you are in this journey of finding your better twin, sorry your better half, then I pray the world materializes for your desires within your lifetime.

If you have been in this world for long, there must be one thing you have learned by now that “you cannot have it all.” If you have not learned this, remember this. It will help you to be appreciative and be grateful for the things you do have in life.

When you have all that figured out, kids of this generation need to remember another point; relationships/ marriages do not mean that your individuality is at stake. You can be the person you want, pursue your dreams, depending on your partner. People are overdramatizing this, but there are very few partners out there in the world who are so dominating that they will overshadow your personality. They might have that control or authority, which may require you to ask permission before doing things, which is clearly wrong and unjustified. But that is a handful out of many. Most people are open to giving their partners the freedom to explore and encourage them to pursue their goals. This may differ relationship to relationship, but do not let this idea overshadow your approach in a relationship.

Another important thing which I have to mention is to be clear about the person you are before you get into a relationship. One may not have it all figured out yet, but shouldn’t one be honest about the person they are already?

Not being truthful from the start has caused many relationships to lose that trust, which is everything.

What happens is this factor of “individuality.”

Many people misuse their freedom of individuality. It saddens me that such behavior is common and acceptable in society. I have seen marriages where two people commit and are dishonest to each other, which is considered okay.

It is normal to sleep with another person; it is reasonable to flirt; it is all right to commit to any action we once used to call cheating.

Many people justify this behavior by calling it their freedom to “lead my life; however, I want to.” If people are compliant with these actions after being bonded by someone officially, they might as well have mentioned it before committing. If one chooses to live a lifestyle sleeping around with other people, tell your partner before you get into a relationship with them. If they are okay with this behavior, then that is amazing – if not, it is better to leave their life.

Back in our grandparent’s generation, many people slept with one person throughout their life. They never had urges or cheated on their partners to satisfy themselves.

I pen this because it is so common and so wrong. It is personal to me because this is the trend in my culture. The country where I belong, the nationality I identify myself with, is accepting of this, and that is not justified. I do not want to see my generation with the same attitude. If you think this is okay, then be honest—every honesty built in the relationship forms this trust.

Trust does not happen instantly; it is formulated every day by actions or words over the years.

If you have changed over the period of the relationship, then speak up. Hiding the truth about your thoughts, words, and actions is you doing wrong to another person. There may be times where one changes their habits or behavior in a relationship, speak up so the other person can cope and understand you gradually.

These are two topics about before and after a relationship. I wanted to write it together because it was in my mind, and I felt quite disturbed thinking about what the world has come to these days. Youngsters are confused about entering a relationship because the parent generation is not setting the right example. People have overcomplicated a pure bond that is shared between two people. When you are choosing your partner, you cannot conclude by experimenting with multiple people. It is all guesswork, and it is about that “us.” It is about sharing.

Sharing what is yours, and them sharing what is theirs. Love is supposed to bring growth and purity because when you learn how to share, you learn how to give and take.

The minute you calculate, give, and take, your love becomes conditional. When you don’t keep track and have expectations, your love is unconditional. I hope and pray that everybody seeking partners receives a companion who respects and values your give and takes.